What is involved?
I come to your organisation, school or work place to speak with your people. I tailor the talks to the audience, your audience, including discussing with you beforehand what your needs are, and what you would like us to discuss.
If I am talking to a younger audience I can talk very generically about respect and relationships without having to talk about romantic relationships or sexual relationships. The concept of respect and treating each other with respect should be observable in all human interaction.
Why focus on respect?
Most people have seen the advertising with the slogan “To Violence Against Women, Australia Says No’. Originally it was going to be titled ‘No Respect, No Relationship’ but was, for some reason, changed at the last minute.
The original campaign was aimed at young people of both genders to help them to understand that emotional, physical and sexual violence are unacceptable.
The campaign was going to have TV adds, and also a youth communication strategy including a radio series and sponsorship of youth events, online resources and also a school curriculum. The communication objectives included teaching young men that violence and control are not okay, that women don’t want violence or control, and teaching both genders that emotional abuse needs to be taken seriously.
I looked at all of this and thought somebody should really run this program, and then I realised that perhaps if I wanted it to happen I needed to do it myself.
Why does our audience need it?
Getting involved once the violence has started is only secondary prevention, saying no to violence against women is important, but it is only part of the picture. Expecting and giving respect in any relationship, intimate or otherwise, is primary prevention that prepares people to be part of healthier relationships, and hopefully reduces the risk of remaining in a relationship that will end in family violence.
I cannot give you a checklist for what is and is not a 'red flag' for a dangerous relationship, but I can help your school or community organisation to begin to critically analyse relationships from the framework of respect, to see disrespectful behaviour if it is occurring, and to think about how somebody might deal with disrespectful behaviour when it happens to them. I try to make our talks interactive, getting the participants to answer my questions, propose definitions and propose solutions (with guidance), but the level of interaction does depend largely on the people present.